Topic: I only take a shit about once a week.
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. said:
­Do not fucking do this. Eat some fucking sauerkraut like I told you. Or kimchi if you prefer. Every day, lots, with your lunch.

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Why no magnesium?


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. said:
Why no magnesium?

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I've never pooped more than one every 3 days. I tried fiber and all that shit. Doesn't work. Supplements don't work. I did Psyllium husk and it is really hard to mix and drink. The shit sticks to everything, sticks to the glass, roof of your mouth, etc.

After years of this shit I finally fixed everything. It is fucking simple. Here's what you do.

If you go to day 3 without shitting, take 3 magnesium citrate tablets. This is the same as Milk of Magnesia but MoM tastes fucking horrible and its hard to carry it on a trip because it is so big. Just 3 tablets of magnesium citrate does it. If you take more, you are going to get runny shits. If you take less, nothing is going to happen.

It draws water from your colon into your shit. The shit gets soft and you crap. This is not a laxitive that fucks up your stomach and colon. It is pretty natural.

Now, lets say its been 3 days and it feels like you have a rock inside and you want to shit but you don't want to blow out your ass or worry things are going to get stuck.

Squirt a little water up your ass 60 seconds before shitting. It will soften the outside so your ass doesn't rip apart with hemorrhoids.

What do you use to squirt the water up? You don't go full enema. They have these things they ell that are little squrters with glycerin in them. Empty out the glycerin and fill it with water instead. You don't want to be giving yourself full enemas and no salt or glycerin, just water. This is just a little water to help things move out when it is hard.

Do that and your shitting worries are over.


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Drink more water, consume more vegetables.


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I make my own kefir at home and drink 4 cups a day. It has 4 times the variety of bacteria strains as yogurt and 5 times the volume of bacteria.

It got me regular and is also lactose free since the bacteria eat it all up.


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Word of warning- if you’re fucking with magnesium you need to be near a toilet until it does its thing.


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So I had my weekly shit yesterday and it was hardly anything at all. Two skinny turds about 4 inches long.  I hope that's not all there is until next week.


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. said: Drink a 12 pack of coors light, you'll shit your guts out the next day.

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^^
Not terrible advice honestly, provided OP doesn’t already drink. Cigars and/ or coffee wake my guts up.


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. said: Word of warning- if you’re fucking with magnesium you need to be near a toilet until it does its thing.

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Takes about 3 hours for it to work because it is slowly abosrbing water in. The key is to find the exact amount that works for you. Too much and you will get runny shits. Way too much and you will get runny shit with cramps. Too little and nothing will happen.

For me it is 3 magnesium citrate tablets. Sometimes I take 2 and it works. Then if that doesn't work in 12 hours, I go for 3. But if it has been too long, I take 3. Took a while to find the right number but if you start with 2 and switch to 3 if 3 doesn't work, you should be good. If you are a huge fatass, you probably need more.


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. said:
­
Takes about 3 hours for it to work because it is slowly abosrbing water in. The key is to find the exact amount that works for you. Too much and you will get runny shits. Way too much and you will get runny shit with cramps. Too little and nothing will happen.

For me it is 3 magnesium citrate tablets. Sometimes I take 2 and it works. Then if that doesn't work in 12 hours, I go for 3. But if it has been too long, I take 3. Took a while to find the right number but if you start with 2 and switch to 3 if 3 doesn't work, you should be good. If you are a huge fatass, you probably need more.

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I have magnesium glycinate.  Will that work as well?


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Colon cancer.


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. said: Colon cancer.

­this


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Just had a real good one! I think the whiskey has finally kicked in.


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. said: So I had my weekly shit yesterday and it was hardly anything at all. Two skinny turds about 4 inches long.  I hope that's not all there is until next week.

­post pics


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3 days in a row with a decent one! I think the yogurt helped.



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