Topic: Winner-take-all, beyond the Thunderdome Shitpig poetry contest. Cash prize.
Posted by .
Unregistered


. said: Second poster.

­
Basic stylistic clues reveal at least 3 contributors and probably several more dipfuck


Posted by .
Unregistered


Jick Rhames said: SuperQueef

She's a very gassy girl
The kind you don't bring home to crullers
She will never hose her taco down
And that's why they call her "The Pig"

She likes giant granny panties
They're the only kind that fit
When she rumbles down below
That's the beginning of a queef
(She's having a gaseous release)

That girl is pretty gas-eh
(The girl can super queef)
The kind of pig you read about
(In veterinary debriefs!)
That girl is highly flammable
(And she smells like a beef)
She really shakes her pissflaps
(And her undies come to grief!)
Keep her away from lights
That Pig's a fright, that Pig's a fright
With queefs, yeah

Super queef! Super queef, she's very queefy

:hammertime:

­Not STRICTLY a poem, one fears (more of a Shitpig song parody?), but I couldn't resist having a go, too.  :sadwave:


Posted by .
Unregistered


No mention of E.Coli?


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said:
Jick Rhames said: SuperQueef

She's a very gassy girl
The kind you don't bring home to crullers
She will never hose her taco down
And that's why they call her "The Pig"

She likes giant granny panties
They're the only kind that fit
When she rumbles down below
That's the beginning of a queef
(She's having a gaseous release)

That girl is pretty gas-eh
(The girl can super queef)
The kind of pig you read about
(In veterinary debriefs!)
That girl is highly flammable
(And she smells like a beef)
She really shakes her pissflaps
(And her undies come to grief!)
Keep her away from lights
That Pig's a fright, that Pig's a fright
With queefs, yeah

Super queef! Super queef, she's very queefy

:hammertime:

­Not STRICTLY a poem, one fears (more of a Shitpig song parody?), but I couldn't resist having a go, too.  :sadwave:

­Cannot get out of my head.

Super-queef, super queef...
:lalala:


Posted by .
Unregistered


THE PIG DOCTOR said:
There are things that live in volcanoes
That die in one second in Shitpig's no-nos
Her clam has bred bacteria exotic
That cannot be harmed by antibiotics

­:lol:


Posted by .
Unregistered


I am the Shitpig and I need to douche
While my husband is working at Deloitte & Touche
I get out the vinegar and baking soda
Anything to help me with my odor

I pour in some ammonia, some carbolic and bleach
Whoops I just expelled it with a queef
I'm a bit smelly like a monger of fish
I get seagulls who can't resist my quiff

I use Brian's shopvac, to rooter out my clam
My last Pap smear came back "ham"
I connect my coochie to the woodshop vent
Some Detroit African Americans were drawn by the scent

I've got cheese, my vaginal flora is out of control
It's like the Amazon is growing in my hole
I have to admit it, my axe wound is stank
A yeast just said to me "Hi there, I'm Frank."

My vag is an outcast, I was fired by my gynecologist
He said what I really needed was a zoologist
I've got worms, voles, crabs and fleas
Jacques Cousteau explored the hole where I pee

He sent the Calypso in, just to look about
There were cetaceans, crustaceans and three kinds of trout
"Sheetpeeg," he said, "you need to clean your hoo-haa."
"Or I am afraid your cunt will be taken over by barracuda."


Posted by BriansMom
Unregistered


. said: I am the Shitpig and I need to douche
While my husband is working at Deloitte & Touche
I get out the vinegar and baking soda
Anything to help me with my odor

I pour in some ammonia, some carbolic and bleach
Whoops I just expelled it with a queef
I'm a bit smelly like a monger of fish
I get seagulls who can't resist my quiff

I use Brian's shopvac, to rooter out my clam
My last Pap smear came back "ham"
I connect my coochie to the woodshop vent
Some Detroit African Americans were drawn by the scent

I've got cheese, my vaginal flora is out of control
It's like the Amazon is growing in my hole
I have to admit it, my axe wound is stank
A yeast just said to me "Hi there, I'm Frank."

My vag is an outcast, I was fired by my gynecologist
He said what I really needed was a zoologist
I've got worms, voles, crabs and fleas
Jacques Cousteau explored the hole where I pee

He sent the Calypso in, just to look about
There were cetaceans, crustaceans and three kinds of trout
"Sheetpeeg," he said, "you need to clean your hoo-haa."
"Or I am afraid your cunt will be taken over by barracuda."

­
Nice job but for the falsehood about BrianJ “working”


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said:
­Cannot get out of my head.

Super-queef, super queef...
:lalala:

­She's super-queefy, Nooow
\
:hammertime:


Posted by .
Unregistered


BriansMom said:
­
Nice job but for the falsehood about BrianJ “working”

­He's been working there eight years.


Posted by .
Unregistered


He sent the Calypso in, just to look about

There were cetaceans, crustaceans and three kinds of trout
"Sheetpeeg," he said, "you need to clean your hoo-haa."
"Or I am afraid your cunt will be taken over by barracuda."

:lol:


Posted by .
Unregistered


Dave Brockie were you alive on this day and ITT...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwtWMaVL65M


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said:
It's my cheat day so I can eat
It has been cheat day all this week
All this week and all this month
It's been cheat day since two-thousand-one

­Nice.


Posted by .
Unregistered


Someone's a genius. And it's not me. :SADWAVE:


Posted by Hamblet
Unregistered


To beef, or not to beef, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the gut to suffer
The gas and pressure of outrageous feeding,
Or to waddle into the office mens room
And by work shitting end them.
\
:spanky:


Posted by .
Unregistered


Hamblet said: To beef, or not to beef, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the gut to suffer
The gas and pressure of outrageous feeding,
Or to waddle into the office mens room
And by work shitting end them.
\
:spanky:

­A Shit-pigge by any other nameb would smell as foul.
\
:snob:


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said:
It's my cheat day so I can eat
It has been cheat day all this week
All this week and all this month
It's been cheat day since two-thousand-one


­This is under-rated.  One of my favorites.


Posted by Mooby
Unregistered


:lalala:
Why does my fart... smell so bad?
Why do my rolls... feel so bad?

Why does my fart... smell so bad?
Why do my rolls... feel so bad?­

Why does my fart... smell so bad?
Why do my rolls... feel so bad?

Heeeeeel down the drain
Heeeeeel down the drain
Heeeeeel down the drain
Heeeeeel down the drain
:lalala:


Posted by .
Unregistered


When once I stood standing at life's very dawn

I knew not what was drew a wife to a man.
My nursemaid demurred at my precocious prying,
And said "'Tis the stork." - I rejoin'd she was lying.
'Til, her patience run out, she did furtively hiss
Of a thing that she'd christen'd the Bower of Bliss,
Said someday I'd find myself 'twixt shit and piss,
And then I would, at last, learn what pleasure is.


The years they fell out and t'ward manhood I crept,
Thought often of girls, pasted sheets while I slept.
Then, one fine day, fin'lly clapped lizard eyes
On what some drunk slut had a-brew 'tween her thighs.
So the girls came and went, and I learn'd it was folly,
To try and envision the gash of a dolly.
Some looked like cherubim, but sported a clown-car;
Others rocked mouses' ears... Chubby Brown in a bra.


And so I might have gone on through drawers of whores,
But for that fell day mot'ring nigh Mich'gan's shores.
At the town dump, a junction. I fluffed route selection
O'er tracks, by a quarry, I parked, sought directions.
Little realising I'd produced m' last erection
For any but poofters in states of genuflexion.
I rounded a street corner and was clammed by Hell's own mons.
No warning and no fanfare but a small-town branch of Jimmy John's.
Amd that tableau put paid to Nursie's tales of Bowers of Bliss
As, harrowed, on both asscheeks I het'rosexual'ty kissed.


Posted by .
Unregistered


"My vag is an outcast, I was fired by my gynecologist
He said what I really needed was a zoologist"

:rofl:


Posted by .
Unregistered


Shit Pig gets no satisfaction
Only credit card extraction
Spank too fat to penetrate
So has has to stimulate...

WITH A STICK! WITH A STICK!
WITH A MOTHER FUCKING STICK!­

Beefy buttocks always browned
T-rex arms can't reach around
Spank too fat to clean his ass
So he has to shift the mass...

WITH A STICK! WITH A STICK!
WITH A MOTHER FUCKING STICK!­

:rockon: :rockon: :rockon:­ :rockon: :rockon: :rockon:


Posted by .
Unregistered


:lol::fag:


Posted by .
Unregistered


a fact most widely understood
that poets hoo-ha dont smell good
lift up her fupa if you dare
reveal a swamp of pus and hair­
a microbiome rich in yeast
who daily find their world increased
gunt fetched on all parameters
cunt stretched by elgin janitors


Posted by And the spam starts
Unregistered


:mad: :cry: :mad: :cry:
\
:spanky:


Posted by .
Unregistered


A six hundred pounder
Supports a sundowner
Spank lives off wife's trust fund
Joe fills offshore slush funds


Posted by CashSaville
Unregistered


. said: a fact most widely understood
that poets hoo-ha dont smell good
lift up her fupa if you dare
reveal a swamp of pus and hair­
a microbiome rich in yeast
who daily find their world increased
gunt fetched on all parameters
cunt stretched by elgin janitors

­
If Spankie finds out that some of his maproom clients are slipping out of the waiting line and finding their sexual release in the Sh1tpig’s cooter, he’s gonna hafta come downstairs and slap L0ri around a little bit



Quick Reply
Moniker:
 

Registration Required

Thank you for your vote!

But in order to make it count, you must be a registered user.

Log In | Register | Close