Topic: Winner-take-all, beyond the Thunderdome Shitpig poetry contest. Cash prize.
Posted by .
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. said:
. said:
­Why does he dread Thanksgiving?

­one tends to eat even more on that day.

­Ah.  Like the best poetry, this contains its subtleties.


Posted by SHITPIGS GRUNDEL ODE
Unregistered


Shitpig's grundel is a place
Where lots and lots of yeast have space
To spread their wings, to start to grow
They grow fat on diarrhea flow

There's Timmy Yeast and yeasty Patty Jane
They play in Grundel Square and Doody Lane
Timmy won a prize at school
Merit badge for roping poo

On Shitpig's grundel civilization has
Taken a whole new evolution path
She wouldn't wipe nor ever clean
Now her yeasts have a Department of the Treasury

They have built a  skyscraper in the air
Near tall as Shitpig's public hair
They sent a rocket to the stars
Powered by Shitpig's power farts

Yeast scientists are brainstorming
Shitpig's grundel has global warming
Don't believe me just go and see
What's happening at Glacier Dingleb'ry

Seems Shitpig's ragged negligee
Has imbalanced chemistry
What was once a darned good thing
Is now the source of deadening

It is surpassing strange
That Shitpig will not change
Her braw or undies hairy
Not her ancient napkin sanitary

It's a crisis, an emergency
Shitpig's yeast started an insurgency
They marched on her pubic area
But were defeated by bacteria


Posted by .
Unregistered


Damnnnnnn :notworthy:


Posted by .
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wow.  at least this fucking thread requires some thinking before posting.


Posted by .
Unregistered


Err..."pubic" hair.


Posted by .
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SHITPIGS GRUNDEL ODE said:
Now her yeasts have a Department of the Treasury

­
:lmao:


Posted by .
Unregistered


Vote for the winner.


Posted by .
Unregistered


I'll go with the yeast / bacteria dude.


Posted by .
Unregistered


Whose idea I am shamelessly pinching.

THE BATTLE OF SHITPIG'S TAINT

In places man dare never touch
In hollows, crevices and such
Way out of sight or settled mind
On scale too small for naked eye
Between the FUPA and the thigh
Are tales untold of drama high
They're played there in the micro-world
And here a tale of strife unfurled.

On Shitpig's grundle overwarmed
The yeast were restive and alarmed.
Their scientists had numbers crunched
And proved the heat would eat their lunch
Yeast demagogues they roused the swarm
With promises of Lebensraum
Von Monsenburg, an aged yeast,
Was set in pow'r in to tame the beast.
He fear'd bacteria from the East.
And that's how Yeastler came to power
And Grundle girded for H-Hour.

As Shitpig's grundle echoed 'round
With NS-Hefe-P jackboot sound
The scheme was simple at its base
They'd hit FUPA for living space.
Yeastler would leave nothing to chance
And called Yeast Krupp in Unterpantz
To commission a type of tank
Well suited to conditions rank.
Yeast Speer instructed VJ-Farben
To strike the skids for hydrocarbons
Yeast Messerschmitt unveiled a Stuka
To blitz the Rods off Shitpig's FUPA.
By Sturm und Drang directed eastly
Von Yeastein pledged to slay the beasties
To purge the gooch and make all yeasty.

But then the plan was put to test.
The viruses off to the west
Saw Yeastler's furious rearming
And feared that his intent was harming.
If Grundle took over the FUPA,
And laid its grip on the chalupa...
In Shitpig's asscrack they were vexed.
It was quite plain who would be next.
Unter den Labien got word
That Grundle would be withheld turd.
Deprived of such a staple stuff
An enraged Yeastler told the chuff
He'd of the virii had enough.

TBC


Posted by .
Unregistered


Bmup


Posted by .
Unregistered


There's Timmy Yeast and yeasty Patty Jane

They play in Grundel Square and Doody Lane
Timmy won a prize at school
Merit badge for roping poo
.
Not her ancient napkin sanitary.

:rofl:


Posted by .
Unregistered


"Feces are Shitpig's only skill"

:lol:


Posted by .
Unregistered


Climbing up on Sh1tpig's gunt

I could hear her strain and grunt
Wind was breaking, time stood still
Taco's flew out of her snatch
She was something to observe
Came in close, I heard a voice
Stinking smelling quivering nerve
Had to sniff, had no choice
I did not believe the information
(I) just had to trust imagination
Her heart going boom boom boom
"Son," she said "Grab your thighs,
I've come to take you home.


Posted by .
Unregistered


> Shitpig's yeast started an insurgency

Fuckling hell.  :lol:


Posted by .
Unregistered


On the low fringe of the great tract

Of growth from menarche intact
One Strepto, streltsy of the crotch
Was nearing end of his dawn watch.
Through drooping lids this Muzhik germ
From Shitpig's pubes sensed something squirm.
The gopnik grub felt things awry
And called the Crumblin on her thigh.
'The Yeast are coming! Climb Nigschmeckma!
Let's ope these orders seal'd with smegma!'
A voice came through. 'Tish! Get to fuck.
The pact's 'neath my flagella tucked.'


Posted by .
Unregistered


And that was the appointed hour

That long guns tore through twat funk sour
Followed by Achtrads, well off piste,
Each burden'd with murderous Yeast.
Strepto figured at this revealin'
Discretion was at least half elan
So he fucked off into the gunt
While yeast swarmed o'er the Yeastern Front.


Posted by .
Unregistered


In windrows fell lactobacilli
As Yeast tore through them willy-nilly
'Cross Shitpig's tankable gunt steppe
Yeast panzers at will they did schlepp.
Thro' Minjsk, Gfatsk, 'cross all the FUPA,
Till stood in shade of the chalupa.
Yeastler he sensed the Rods' nigh doom
And invok'd Fall Queef Typhoon.


Posted by .
Unregistered


Elated yeasts of the Turd Reich
Encroached on halftracks, motorbikes.
The rash bacteria that stood fast
Were slain by Queefelwerfer blasts.
It seemed the end. Reserve, aucune.
The Rods they bade the hour of doom.
When Strepto, chann'ling Mother Fupa,
Thought now to rouse them from this stupour.
'They shall not pass! We'll force them back!
We'll drive them right into the crack!'
His comrades groaned and cursed his name
But lo! Their fight was not in vain!

A ray of light pierced through the melee
The crease was spread - parted the jelly -
Of providential strokes of luck!
It's time for Shitpig's annual fuck.
Now to await the microwilly.
Bacteria felt it in their pilii,
And they were hardly disappointed
With Spanky's sweat and filth anointed.
Out from his hulk there came new hope
For Shitpig's gunt held plenty scope.
O'er far horizon the Gock Armies
Appeared like microbe equitates.
Elite Anthrax from Spanky's ballseam
Well-fed, well-armed and fit to ass ream,
They drove a fleet of Studebakers
Fresh from a plant on Spanky's knackers.
The news it broke at Crablouse Lair
Caught Yeastler sadly unaware
His ire was raised to dreadful heights
To hear the Rods possessed the shites.
He blamed the Masons and the Jews
Then perished in a hail of poos.


Posted by .
Unregistered


They drove a fleet of Studebakers

Fresh from a plant on Spanky's knackers

that's gold Jerry!


Posted by .
Unregistered


> And invok'd Fall Queef Typhoon. 

Jesus fuck.  It took 20 years of red board OCD to come up with this masterpiece.  :lol:


Posted by .
Unregistered


They’re just so damned fat!


Posted by .
Unregistered


Where's our judge with the purse? I need to make rent. Chop fuckin' chop.


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said: Whose idea I am shamelessly pinching.

THE BATTLE OF SHITPIG'S TAINT

In places man dare never touch
In hollows, crevices and such
Way out of sight or settled mind
On scale too small for naked eye
Between the FUPA and the thigh
Are tales untold of drama high
They're played there in the micro-world
And here a tale of strife unfurled.

On Shitpig's grundle overwarmed
The yeast were restive and alarmed.
Their scientists had numbers crunched
And proved the heat would eat their lunch
Yeast demagogues they roused the swarm
With promises of Lebensraum
Von Monsenburg, an aged yeast,
Was set in pow'r in to tame the beast.
He fear'd bacteria from the East.
And that's how Yeastler came to power
And Grundle girded for H-Hour.

As Shitpig's grundle echoed 'round
With NS-Hefe-P jackboot sound
The scheme was simple at its base
They'd hit FUPA for living space.
Yeastler would leave nothing to chance
And called Yeast Krupp in Unterpantz
To commission a type of tank
Well suited to conditions rank.
Yeast Speer instructed VJ-Farben
To strike the skids for hydrocarbons
Yeast Messerschmitt unveiled a Stuka
To blitz the Rods off Shitpig's FUPA.
By Sturm und Drang directed eastly
Von Yeastein pledged to slay the beasties
To purge the gooch and make all yeasty.

But then the plan was put to test.
The viruses off to the west
Saw Yeastler's furious rearming
And feared that his intent was harming.
If Grundle took over the FUPA,
And laid its grip on the chalupa...
In Shitpig's asscrack they were vexed.
It was quite plain who would be next.
Unter den Labien got word
That Grundle would be withheld turd.
Deprived of such a staple stuff
An enraged Yeastler told the chuff
He'd of the virii had enough.

TBC

­Does RATHER remind one of mine about the yeast.  Still, can't have too many epics poems about microorganisms in deadly fights over Shitpig's filthier bits.


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said: Where's our judge with the purse? I need to make rent. Chop fuckin' chop.

­Can we invite Shitpig to judge?


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said:
­Does RATHER remind one of mine about the yeast.  Still, can't have too many epics poems about microorganisms in deadly fights over Shitpig's filthier bits.

­
Think of it as a tribute.



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