Topic: Will I ever regret not having kids?
Posted by .
Unregistered


I'm 50, thought I would never have kids when I was younger because my childhood was messy and I thought I would only produce mongoloids.  I am an only child.  Accidentally knocked up my wife when I was 30 and learned I liked being a dad.  Now I have 3 kids.  Got divorced from my ex a few years ago, glad I went through it all even though I am poorer financially for both being a dad and having had a "stay at home" ex.  The kids give me some comfort and purpose that might otherwise be absent.


Posted by death2me
Gina Miller Fan Club


. said: I'm 50, thought I would never have kids when I was younger because my childhood was messy and I thought I would only produce mongoloids.  I am an only child.  Accidentally knocked up my wife when I was 30 and learned I liked being a dad.  Now I have 3 kids.  Got divorced from my ex a few years ago, glad I went through it all even though I am poorer financially for both being a dad and having had a "stay at home" ex.  The kids give me some comfort and purpose that might otherwise be absent.

But then your kids now have to go through life too. :sad:


Posted by .
Unregistered


Rest of World said:
. said: My ONLY achievement in life is avoiding having children.  There is no way I would want my children to exist in this utter SHITHOLE of a world that the joos have created.
\
:whitetrash:

We're all SO GLAD you didn't procreate.  Not like there's any woman that exists that would want to have relations with your prejudiced ass.
\
:winner:

WRONG.  My first wife wanted children. I divorced her.

A girlfriend got pregnant.  We agreed she would have an abortion.

After that, never hooked up with a woman who wanted (or already had) children.

MY. FUCKING. CHOICE.  :mittens:
\
:trev:


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said:
­Everyone stumbles through life clueless. Having regrets, or having powerful regrets, is probably a matter of your personality.

"If you had known then what you know now," and led a different life, if you have a regretful personality you'd be like the countless people who followed that different past and now wish they had lived a life more like yours.

The problem was apparent to me when I was around 19 and making those choices. Live "this" life or "that" life?

I realized that whatever path I took I'd have some regret, powerful or not powerful, that I couldn't have taken both paths. The "tragedy" is that you can only follow one path, you're only one person.

How powerfully you feel regret I think depends on your personality.

Think about all of those men who lived conventional lives as husbands and fathers and wish, powerfully or not, that they had done it differently.

I'm surprised that I meet lots of those guys.

Lots of divorced guys.

Why did I ever get married? Why did I ever have kids?

Whatever path you took, try to conquer your regretfulness.

­
How the hell does one conquer regret and powerful feelings of regret?  I think that they'll never go away.


Posted by .
Unregistered


It seems like this point in my life, the good Lord is taking away rather than giving.  Opportunities have gone away and doors have closed.  This is as good as it will get.


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said: It seems like this point in my life, the good Lord is taking away rather than giving.  Opportunities have gone away and doors have closed.  This is as good as it will get.

­
Finally, a realistic poster :lol:


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said: It seems like this point in my life, the good Lord is taking away rather than giving.  Opportunities have gone away and doors have closed.  This is as good as it will get.

yeah that's one thing they don't tell you as you start to age

your luck turns to shit.  you got no magic anymore. wtf? :wtf:­

and I got Satan riding me going into this, as my magic dries out, this is NOT good


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said:
yeah that's one thing they don't tell you as you start to age

your luck turns to shit.  you got no magic anymore. wtf? :wtf:­

and I got Satan riding me going into this, as my magic dries out, this is NOT good


I was destined for great things. So they said. And yet, here I am.


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said:
. said:
­Everyone stumbles through life clueless. Having regrets, or having powerful regrets, is probably a matter of your personality.

"If you had known then what you know now," and led a different life, if you have a regretful personality you'd be like the countless people who followed that different past and now wish they had lived a life more like yours.

The problem was apparent to me when I was around 19 and making those choices. Live "this" life or "that" life?

I realized that whatever path I took I'd have some regret, powerful or not powerful, that I couldn't have taken both paths. The "tragedy" is that you can only follow one path, you're only one person.

How powerfully you feel regret I think depends on your personality.

Think about all of those men who lived conventional lives as husbands and fathers and wish, powerfully or not, that they had done it differently.

I'm surprised that I meet lots of those guys.

Lots of divorced guys.

Why did I ever get married? Why did I ever have kids?

Whatever path you took, try to conquer your regretfulness.

­
How the hell does one conquer regret and powerful feelings of regret?  I think that they'll never go away.

­You don't. Some people do.

You don't.


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said:
­
How the hell does one conquer regret and powerful feelings of regret?  I think that they'll never go away.

­You have to forgive yourself as well as others.
You think you made a wrong turn somewhere back down the line, but
that turn may have saved your life.
Don't regret what may never have been.


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said:
­You have to forgive yourself as well as others.
You think you made a wrong turn somewhere back down the line, but
that turn may have saved your life.
Don't regret what may never have been.


It can be maddening because there's always some thing you could have done differently, and maybe that would have changed everything. Yet you may also have ended up worse off. You never know. You think you do but you don't because you can't just change one thing. Changing that one thing changes everything. So try to be grateful for where you are; it could be better but it could also be so much worse.


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said:
Rest of World said:
. said: My ONLY achievement in life is avoiding having children.  There is no way I would want my children to exist in this utter SHITHOLE of a world that the joos have created.
\
:whitetrash:

We're all SO GLAD you didn't procreate.  Not like there's any woman that exists that would want to have relations with your prejudiced ass.
\
:winner:

WRONG.  My first wife wanted children. I divorced her.

A girlfriend got pregnant.  We agreed she would have an abortion.

After that, never hooked up with a woman who wanted (or already had) children.

MY. FUCKING. CHOICE.  :mittens:
\
:trev:

:potd:


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said:
. said:
. said:
­Everyone stumbles through life clueless. Having regrets, or having powerful regrets, is probably a matter of your personality.

"If you had known then what you know now," and led a different life, if you have a regretful personality you'd be like the countless people who followed that different past and now wish they had lived a life more like yours.

The problem was apparent to me when I was around 19 and making those choices. Live "this" life or "that" life?

I realized that whatever path I took I'd have some regret, powerful or not powerful, that I couldn't have taken both paths. The "tragedy" is that you can only follow one path, you're only one person.

How powerfully you feel regret I think depends on your personality.

Think about all of those men who lived conventional lives as husbands and fathers and wish, powerfully or not, that they had done it differently.

I'm surprised that I meet lots of those guys.

Lots of divorced guys.

Why did I ever get married? Why did I ever have kids?

Whatever path you took, try to conquer your regretfulness.

­
How the hell does one conquer regret and powerful feelings of regret?  I think that they'll never go away.

­You don't. Some people do.

You don't.

­
You don't know.  I don't know.  Maybe I will, maybe I won't.


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said:
. said:
­You have to forgive yourself as well as others.
You think you made a wrong turn somewhere back down the line, but
that turn may have saved your life.
Don't regret what may never have been.


It can be maddening because there's always some thing you could have done differently, and maybe that would have changed everything. Yet you may also have ended up worse off. You never know. You think you do but you don't because you can't just change one thing. Changing that one thing changes everything. So try to be grateful for where you are; it could be better but it could also be so much worse.

­
Very good post.  It's pining for the past, imagining a different future, that makes us miserable.  The present moment is the only reality all of us have.


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said:
­You have to forgive yourself as well as others.
You think you made a wrong turn somewhere back down the line, but
that turn may have saved your life.
Don't regret what may never have been.

­
That's the kicker:  if you chose other paths, went on other adventures, did other things and had increased success, there is no guarantee there wouldn't have been a disaster which your current timeline avoids.


Posted by .
Unregistered


Life is good.  Enjoy what you have.  Despite the hardships and uncertainty, it's meant to be celebrated and enjoyed.


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said: My ONLY achievement in life is avoiding having children.  There is no way I would want my children to exist in this utter SHITHOLE of a world that the joos have created.  :shudder:

­
I’m a Jew and I have children and you don’t
I’m pretty sure I won and you lose


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said: My ONLY achievement in life is avoiding having children.  There is no way I would want my children to exist in this utter SHITHOLE of a world that the joos have created.  :shudder:

­

Jokes on you einstein :lol: :lol:


Posted by .
Unregistered


Looks like Schlomo's mad   

I won!
\
:manlet:

:lol:


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said:
WRONG.  My first wife wanted children. I divorced her.

A girlfriend got pregnant.  We agreed she would have an abortion.

After that, never hooked up with a woman who wanted (or already had) children.

MY. FUCKING. CHOICE.  :mittens:
\
:bluebunny:

So, when did you finally come to terms with your homosexuality? :snicker:


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said:
­
I’m a Jew and I have children and you don’t
I’m pretty sure I won and you lose

:potd: 

What's funny is just about all of the (anti-Semitic) defenders of the white race on this board have 0 kids and most are incels. :lol:


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said: Looks like Schlomo's mad   

I won!
\
:manlet:

:lol:

:potd:

The funny thing is that they are crying anti-semitism and pretending the rest of us are incels because they hate their lives.

:snicker:


Posted by .
Unregistered


You are damned either way. If you don’t, you could feel sadness or regret. Same if you do.

When you do have kids you think of other things you’d be doing, or achieving regardless of whether you would. I had kids at 17 and 19. I’m 42, divorced, and living somewhat carefree. I’m just glad to be divorced.

I had the strange perspective that I love my kids and loved being a father. Sure there are shitty days but I would have had four if I had the right partner. I hated her: Narcissistic, lazy, no mothering instincts. The kids came to me for everything. My 20s were tough getting myself educated to provide but things worked out. You would have more money and, possibly, maturity.

I can’t get married again ever. I date around and always women who aren’t available all the time. One is a medical worker, one is married to a gay man, another is a single mother who only gets our a couple times a month.

As for my parents, they ignored me and told me they didn’t want kids. My mother used to sit at the table staring into space and smoking and ask why she didn’t have an abortion. When I got older they wouldn’t return calls and they played no role in my kids’ lives. I had no problem putting one of them in a state run nursing home and running away from the estate, laden with debt as it was.


Posted by .
Unregistered


. said: You are damned either way. If you don’t, you could feel sadness or regret. Same if you do.

When you do have kids you think of other things you’d be doing, or achieving regardless of whether you would. I had kids at 17 and 19. I’m 42, divorced, and living somewhat carefree. I’m just glad to be divorced.

I had the strange perspective that I love my kids and loved being a father. Sure there are shitty days but I would have had four if I had the right partner. I hated her: Narcissistic, lazy, no mothering instincts. The kids came to me for everything. My 20s were tough getting myself educated to provide but things worked out. You would have more money and, possibly, maturity.

I can’t get married again ever. I date around and always women who aren’t available all the time. One is a medical worker, one is married to a gay man, another is a single mother who only gets our a couple times a month.

As for my parents, they ignored me and told me they didn’t want kids. My mother used to sit at the table staring into space and smoking and ask why she didn’t have an abortion. When I got older they wouldn’t return calls and they played no role in my kids’ lives. I had no problem putting one of them in a state run nursing home and running away from the estate, laden with debt as it was.

­
I've talked to you several times on these boards over the years.  You are a good guy and I'm sorry about your upbringing.  I am glad that you are in a good place now.

For me, marriage is out of the question right now, as it won't add anything to my life that I don't already have.  My girlfriend is pretty good, but very vocal and likes to provide input on everything I do.  I really don't want to give her any more control over my life than she already has.  She makes more money than me, so that isn't an issue.  I'm too old to get anyone much better than her and sometimes I feel lucky to even have her.  My life is good but I'm concerned about old age.  I can't imagine my parents navigating life without their kids at their age.  Future support should never be a reason to have kids but I still think about it.


Posted by .
Unregistered


Final thoughts, a quote from Kierkegaard:

“Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it; marry or don’t marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world’s foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world’s foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it… Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will regret that too; hang yourself or don’t hang yourself, you’ll regret it either way; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both. This, gentlemen, is the essence of all philosophy.”



Quick Reply
Moniker:
 

Registration Required

Thank you for your vote!

But in order to make it count, you must be a registered user.

Log In | Register | Close