How to avoid getting screwed over by Kelly Ann Collins
OMG, this is too funny.
There is this messageboard -- a spinoff of my friend Philip's legendary Y2K-era Fucked Company forum -- with a bunch of really funny (yet kind of weird) people posting on it.
Anyway, I just received a cut and paste copy of one of the threads, which is about me (these guys think I'm a maneater) and directed at "insecure beta males." It is hilariously wrong ... but entertaining, nonetheless.
Here it is, translated for all of you normal, non-BBS folk in the "real world" versus the odd virtual world out there. ...
So, for all you betas out there, here's a basic guide on how to avoid such catastrophic ownage.
1) Don't fall in love with sluts. If she has had sex with multiple guys, then she is a community cum bucket. You should view her as a disposable piece of meat. A glorified fleshlight. Do not fall in love with sluts.
2) Don't bring your girlfriend to meat markets. When you're with your girlfriend, stay away from the singles scene. When you're going into the singles scene (bars/clubs/parties), don't bring your girlfriend.
3) If she's hunting, then you hunt. If she's flirting & socializing with other guys, then you should walk off and socialize with other women. The jealousy will probably get to her. Make her play defense rather than offense.
4) Have multiple girlfriends & fuckbuddies. Having multiple options means that you will be less attached to any one woman. That means that each girlfriend will have less leverage & power over you.
5) Cockblock. If she seems to be getting along with another guy, tell her it's time to leave. Do this early. If she refuses to leave with you, then just leave, hit on other women or call a fuckbuddy, and assume your slut girlfriend going to fuck another guy. Don't let it bother you, because she's a slut, and sluts are just disposable pieces of meat.
6) Never -- ever -- assist your competition. If she wants you to drive her and her new male friend around, laugh, and say no way. Tell her that if she's looking to hook up with other dudes, then she's on her own.
"Red flag! He won't take me to a bar because he's afraid other men will give me attention!" (We are laughing our arses off at this. Creative? Yes. Good advice? Hellz to the no way.)
kellyanncollins
We thot this guy at the massage place was hot -- til he sat up. Some dudes just look better horizontal. Just sayin'.
about 3 hours ago via txt
I guess all the bad stuff you people said about infusion (Kelly Ann Collins) is true
I hate to post this here, but I've got nobody to tell this to. This is not a troll, despite how unbelievably horrible she treated me on valentines even. We've been going out for over a month. I am crazy about her. She said she wanted to go out with me exclusively, I wanted the same with her. Things were great. Valentines came, I had a little bit of a cold, we go to some party of some architects that infusion knew. She goes up to get me a drink, she doesn't come back, I go to the bar in about 20 minutes, because she told me to save her seat. People were getting her drinks. She hands me the drink she got for me. We go back and sit down. She claimed she hated cigarette smoke, so I said to her that the place is a little smokey. She jumps up, runs over to this guy (Chris) and grabs his cigarette from him, and throws it on the ground. They begin talking, then we move over to where he was sitting. She's ignoring me, then she moves all by him, tries to get away from me. He invites her and secondarily me to some party. We go there, I put up a fight, because the parking garage was supposed to close at 3AM, I didn't want to be stranded in a snowstorm. Chris is totally drunk, slurred speech. I guess he was telling infusion about how much money he has. Then infusion meets this indian guy, with big warm hands (his nick name), she's all over him, dancing, etc. About 2 hours later we leave, after chris drank even more, could barely speak. He invites himself to infusions car that I was driving because I was sober, to drive him back to his place.
Posted 12/21/2010 7:23 am
WE get there infusion says she has to use the bathroom, I tell the indian guy to go in (because he wanted a ride). BTW, at the party, infusion sort of apologized to me, either that, or I misenterpreted her "I'm sorry" incorrectly, and it was really "I'm sorry, I like other people." I'm double parked, waiting in the car, they don't come back out. I knock on the door, say it's time to go, becase it's snowing and there's no place to park. Infusion decides she's going to stay there. I ask her how she can do this to me. It's valentines day, we're a couple, how could she go and have sex with this drunk, smoking, racist (he said "african" about 5 times in the span of 5 minutes) asshole that she just met. She throws her car keys at me and tells me to drive back to her place. I asked her how she could hurt me like this, she didn't care, she called me a "poopy" and told me to quit yelling at her. I just started fucking balling outside the front door. I had never been so humiliated, nor felt so terrible in my life. I drove back to her place, got my stuff, left her keys on her bed, wrote her a note telling her how much she hurt me. I thought yesterday she would at least feel guilty and can or at least email me to say she felt bad. Nothing. Apparently, she's still at his place. I just called up that guy, because he gave me his business card. He said he drove her home last night. I called up her roomate a couple minutes ago, and he said she's not there, and she had called her roomate last night to say she's staying at a friend's house. So chris, that motherfucker lied to me, stole my girl. The worst part is that infusion has no guilt, no conscience. I was so good to her. I bought her stuff, I spoke to her when she wanted, I gave her moral support, I helped her out on her space shuttle fundraising stuff by giving her STS 107 patches. We couldn't keep our hands off of each other. But she leaves me for a guy she just met? Not like it was behind my back, it was right in my fucking face, on valentines day. How can she do this? how can she feel no guilt?
The guy is what she purported to hate. He's racist, he smokes like a chimney, and he's so going to fuck and chuck her. I'm suprised he didn't kick her out yet. But apparently she's still at his place, and she's going to be there for another couple days at least because of the 2 feet of snow we're going to get.
I loved that girl. She has hurt me so much. I decided to leave NY primarily because of her. I don't know how I will ever be able to trust a girl again. Everything was perfect until last night. She hinted nothing that she wasn't happy with me. But a couple drinks? Now she's sober, and she's still with him, and still no guilt. How can she treat me like this, have no regard for my feelings? To make it worst, she's the only girl I've ever been with, and she should know how much more painful it would be for someone like me rather than someone who gets girls all the time, who just views them as meat to fuck and chuck. I was, and still am crazy about her. But since she obviously has no feelings for me, I guess I should post this about her. I just am so hurt.
I know some people in here have had relationships with her, has she don't something like this to you? I just want to know if this is who she is, or she forgot to take some medicine or something like that. She hurt me so badly, I've been crying ever since this happened friday night, I haven't eaten since 3PM on friday, and I don't know how I'm ever going to get over this. Do I ask "what's wrong with her?" or "what's wrong with me that makes her feel no guilt for what she did to me?"
I know for many of you, you'll just say get over it, find someone else. That is SO difficult to do. I've never had a girlfriend before, I loved the companionship, I'm so sad right now. But are all girls like this? If this event didn't happen, I would still be convinced that infusion was the best girl on the planet, she made me feel until friday so good about myself, she gave me so much confidence, and I'm so attracted to her. How can she have no conscience? She's going ot be fucked and chucked by this asshole she just met, she stays with him over me on valentines. God damn it. What did I do to deserve this?
