Posted 5/9/2010 10:29 pm
IF YOU'RE OVER 35 YEARS OLD OR NEVER GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL, STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THE SELF-CHECKOUT LANE. IF I HEAR THE GENTLE RINGING OF THE "ASSISTANCE NEEDED" BELL ONE MORE TIME, I AM GOING TO LOSE IT AND STUFF A 24 PACK OF COKE UP YOUR ASSHOLE, ONE CAN AT A TIME.
Posted 5/9/2010 10:31 pm
sometime,s the machin,e shite,s it up when you put an item in the bag are,a and the blood,y thing calls for assistan,ce thank,s
Posted 5/9/2010 10:32 pm
I was at a hardware store here in bumfuck USA and the woman in front of me wrote out a check for the wrong amount. She only had one check and didn't have any money so she had to go out to the car to get it, the entire time there is a line waiting for her. If there was any day I was going to go postal it was then. When I left the store I saw her in the parking lot and I said "don't forget your money next time" and she thought I was joking and laughed and said something like "oh I know huck huck huck!
LOOK. I'M A BUSY MAN WITH MANY IMPORTANT THINGS THAT COMPETE FOR MY ATTENTION. THE SELF-CHECKOUT LANE IS FOR LIFE'S POWERUSERS, NOT GRANDMA LISTLESSLY FLAILING A BOX OF FIBERONE BARS OVER THE MAGIC RED LIGHT MACHINE UNTIL IT REGISTERS A BEEP THAT IS OUTSIDE THE FREQUENCY OF HER HEARING AID.
Posted 5/9/2010 11:01 pm : Edited 5/9/2010 11:01 pm
Worse thing is when you have a single queue for the brown people controlled checkout and the self-checkout. Everybody is scared of the self-checkout so they just stand there. You're at the back of the queue and you can see 6 empty self-checkout kiosks and nobody is moving to use them. You have to walk down the line saying "excuse me, excuse me" and as soon as you do it there's a rush of people to use the self-checkouts because it turns out everybody wanted to use them except the one fat woman at the front but everyone else was too meek to do anything about it.
Posted 5/9/2010 11:12 pm
Those things are a fucking charybdis of gay but I still use 'em to get out of having to deal with the miserable cows on the checkouts.
I don't like them inspecting my shit and making assumptions and asking me questions about my items. That's one thing I don't like about living in a "friendly" town.
"Jergens and Ben & Jerry? Melissa dump you again?"
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"Uhhmmmmmm can you just tell me the total?"
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"I have a wonderful daughter at home. She'd be perfect for you! She cleans up real nice after a shower and a shave. It'd be good for her to get out of the house and away from that stupid ebiz bbs she spends all her time on."
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If you go to my local 24 hour supermarket at around 2-3am the entire staff is outside smoking and chatting and you can pretty much walk out with whatever you want.
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