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Posts by Monty_Burns

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 Timestamp Post 
5/10/2011 5:15 am

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Level 20 warlock:

http://florida.arrests.org/mugs/Hillsbourgh/2011/11013048.jpg

Watched Goonies too many times:

http://florida.arrests.org/mugs/Pinellas/1447886.jpg

FUCK!

http://florida.arrests.org/mugs/Hillsbourgh/2011/11014449.jpg
5/10/2011 5:13 am

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:shudder:

http://florida.arrests.org/mugs/Sarasota/png/201000006043.jpg

:shudder:

:shudder:

http://florida.arrests.org/mugs/Broward/561100418.jpg

F2 poster:

http://florida.arrests.org/mugs/Volusia/846628.jpg
5/10/2011 5:11 am

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Holy shit.

:lol:

http://florida.arrests.org/tagged.php?flag=Scary


http://florida.arrests.org/mugs/Hillsbourgh/2004/04006917.jpg

This guy. :lol:

http://florida.arrests.org/mugs/Volusia/846346.jpg

This looks like Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder.

http://florida.arrests.org/mugs/Pinellas/1250000/1249123.jpg

You wake up in the middle of the night...and this dude is staring at you, his face two inches away from yours.



http://florida.arrests.org/mugs/Pasco/000156773.jpg
4/28/2011 3:39 am

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Intelligent, educated people have less children. This is good for said intelligent people, but bad for the population. A bit of a paradox, there.
4/27/2011 4:48 pm

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Hymie_Jaggerstein said:i'm in the south and madelf is wherever the h she is, so i think it's widespread. they put it on the rim of the glass- only an asshole takes it off the rim after it's served and puts it in the beer.



Interesting. I guess I don't go to "bars" as such enough. That, and this IS central Florida. I've probably seen it and just never thought about it. I still see people at restaurants getting Corona with a lime, though.
4/27/2011 4:39 pm

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madelf. said:blue moon is served with an orange everywhere, even in the crappy irish restaurant near my mom's. i don't think it is considered upscale though.



I've never seen that. Wonder if it's a regional thing.
4/27/2011 4:36 pm

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Hymie_Jaggerstein said:an orange in his blue moon. oy vey. i was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt before that.



:lol:

Holy shit. Is that the upscale version of the lime in a Corona?
4/21/2011 12:47 am

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Percentage of posts believable in this thread: 15 percent.

Everyone on F2 is in great athletic shape with sub 13 percent bodyfat. WHO KNEW?

:lol:
4/19/2011 2:40 am

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madelf. said:gonna take a long time to lose pounds... do you measure your waist? thats what you should be looking at, no?

ive been thinking of doing the keto, no carbs thing for a few weeks, but i dont think its gonna work :(



I don't directly measure my waist, no, but I've got several pairs of pants that fit nicely a couple of months ago that fall off now. I get comments on a weekly basis from people saying I'm losing weight.

Keto is like the easiest diet you'll ever try, aside from the fact you'll have to be creative with cooking meat in different ways. I like cooking, but I've kept things decidedly simple. I eat lots of eggs, ground beef, steak, cheese, ranch dressing, spinach, and broccoli. That's pretty much been the essence of my meals for the past two plus weeks. You can absolutely crank down your calories and still feel full because of the fat.

There's lots of tips and guides here. Lots of women on there, too, it's not just for asshole hardcore bodybuilder types. This is an entire subforum devoted to keto.

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/forumdisplay.php?f=61
4/19/2011 2:29 am

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madelf. said:yeah, that is what im saying. :tongue:

hows your weight training going? any new results?



I'm down to like 186. Nothing new to report, really. Still on a keto diet, which is suprisingly easy to maintain even on less than 2000 calories a day. The high fat percentage keeps you sated.

I've done over 100 minutes of cardio a day for the past three days. Honestly, I find it boggling I don't lose more weight per week than I have, but two pounds a week is good and healthy.
4/19/2011 2:12 am

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madelf. said:he likes good oral sex, probably not dry mouth and lots of teeth or some half assed job



Oh, I thought you were talking about giving, not getting.

I could personally give a shit about a blowjob. Not enough stimulation in my opinion.
4/19/2011 2:04 am

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madelf. said:why do men not like oral sex?



Have you ever actually MET a man who wouldn't? I think it's mostly posturing amongst douchebags who somehow think it's tough to pretend they don't.

It's certainly a recurring theme with black guys and rap music.
4/19/2011 1:57 am

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madelf. said:they had lousy givers



You have to be pretty retarded to be bad at it. Or at least I would think. Most chicks seem to get off really easy on it, and fast...and unlike with penetrative sex, you can tell they're not faking an orgasm, it tastes different and you can feel the spasming if you're also using your finger.
4/19/2011 1:50 am

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I would rather go down on a woman than get a blowjob anyway. It's fine with me if a woman likes getting oral but doesn't like giving blowjobs. Blowjobs are overrated. Handjobs are where it's at.
4/16/2011 10:38 pm

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. said:YOU'RE LYING, SON. THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE 5'11" AND 188 ACCORDING TO THE PICTURES YOU POSTED. TRY 5'6" OR 5'7" AND 188. :mittens:



:boring:

http://img810.imageshack.us/img810/3863/64503451.jpg
4/16/2011 10:19 pm

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. said:you will always be fat until you give up this dream of being massive. You need to eat a lot less and lose some muscle in order to drop below about 15% body fat. That is, unless you are doing steroids.



Whoa whoa, I have a dream of being massive? I most certainly do not, nor have I ever said such a thing. I don't need to lose any muscle, all I need to lose is fat. Trust me, I'll look fine when I drop a few bodyfat percentages. Are you implying that LOSING muscle helps you drop fat, or was that just poor sentence wording?

If I was on steroids, I'd already be lean, and have 20 or 30 more pounds of muscle. I'm currently 188 pounds as of last week. I'm already on a keto diet. I have been for two weeks now. I've dropped from 194 (those pictures) to 188 in that length of time.

My lifts are absolutely not impressive for my bodyweight. There are literally dozens of people on Youtube that can deadlift 405 and squat well over 315 at like...155 pounds. I won't even talk about my horrible bench (like 250 max?)
4/16/2011 10:11 pm

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There's a biiiiiiiiiig difference between "bodybuilders" and natural bodybuilders, or just gym enthusiasts. Big, big. A couple of people in this thread have touched on this point.

You will never, ever look ridiculously huge as a "natural" bodybuilder. And by "natural bodybuilder," we're STILL talking about someone here with the right genetics and years of work. If you go to the gym and work your ass off for years, eat right, bulk, and cut, you will "look" "big-ish" for a while. Stand next to a roided out professional bodybuilder, and there's no comparison.

Professional bodybuilders look ludicrous. If you just go to the gym and lift heavy, set goals for yourself, and eat right, eventually you'll look decent enough without looking like some veiny monster.

Like someone else said, if you're not taking roids, or you're not huge, you're not going to look like the hulk with a suit on. If you're lean, you'll look as skinny as someone else off the street, and if you've got some tight clothes on, you can show off a little bit, but that's about the extent of it.
4/16/2011 8:32 pm

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. said:It looks you you are neither.



:lol:
4/16/2011 8:30 pm

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. said:its also easier to maintain over time and actually better as you're emphasizing aerobic cardio rather than anaerobic weightlifting



That's insanely incorrect information, or at the very least misleading. It's quite possible to be in both great muscular and cardiovascular shape.

Building and keeping muscle is quite potent for both feeling and looking younger as you get older.
4/16/2011 8:27 pm

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. said:Go for long lean lines of a swimmers build. It is a more elegant natural look and will make you appear taller and move better. Those short squat muscles on your thighs and upper arms are not doing you any favors. Oh, and girls don't care about oily 6 pack abs, that's so Golds Gym circa 1990. As long as you don't have a beer gut, a normal stomach is fine.



They'll look fine once I'm down to, say, 12 percent bodyfat. Everything will work itself out. I enjoy doing heavy squats and deadlifts, I'm not going to stop. I met weight goals with them (315 for reps on squats, 405 for reps on deadlifts) and don't plan on progressing any further. My weakest compound lift is bench press by far, the only thing I care to raise. Obviously, it's not going to go up while I'm on a cut.

The six pack abs thing is just a personal goal. I like setting goals. If they require too much effort to keep, I'm not all that worried about them.
4/16/2011 8:13 pm

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. said: :lol: but OP thinks he looks great



No I don't. I never said I did. I only posted baseline pictures for the purpose of honesty. I do have more muscle than quite possibly anyone else here, though, until proven otherwise. I'd be willing to bet I could outrun 90 percent of the people here, as well.

The only other person here I've ever seen demonstrate good knowledge of weightlifting is Jesusneverexisted.
4/16/2011 7:41 pm

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. said:I'm sure you will. Too bad they won't be yours. :lol:



In the above three pictures, I had a handwritten note to prove it was actually me. I will do the same thing when I'm leaned down. I would never post such a picture without thoroughly proving that it's me. I've been here long enough to know what the rules are.
4/16/2011 7:25 pm

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BobHopesColostomyBag said:Nothing you say at this point is going to satisfy the trolls. They're ravening for blood. I can feel it.



:lol:

I can't be trolled. Never have, never will. I simply don't get angry. I've been on FC and spinoff boards for ten years now. I would only be angry if I WEREN'T getting trolled. That would signal the whole FC system is sick and dying.
4/16/2011 7:22 pm

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. said:the advice is stop eating fucking carbs. more lean protien, limited carbs. DO NEVER EAT SUGAR. it's teh deth.



I'm already there, dude.

http://f2bbs.com/bbs/show_topic/392448

I've been on a keto diet for two weeks. I am officially bulldogging my way into leanness. I've been posting all this shit to keep myself honest.

Previous to going full keto, I was already eating lower carb.
4/16/2011 7:21 pm

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BobHopesColostomyBag said: :lol:

There was this really hot blond babe at the front desk of the gym, 20. I was 43 or something at the time. I left her alone for obvious reasons. Then suddenly a few months after she arrived she knows my name and starts eagerly talking to me. She shows me her modeling portfolio...big high res photos, topless on a white leather sofa. She doesn't want anybody else to see them, just me. :erection: but :wtf:

Then she starts complaining to me that someone is making obscene phone calls to her at the front desk and this leads off into a long diatribe about how freaked out and frightened she is of Vancouver because she's a small town girl. So the next time I see her I bring her some flowers. Nice flowers. Not roses. I don't want to seem to get too hot and heavy. $25 bucks worth.

She goes from being intimately friendly to freaking out and gives them back to me; she has a boyfriend. Flowers go in the garbage no hard feelings. Later I see boyfriend and he's a mega creep; fu manchu moustache huge hockey haircut. Fine.

Then the next thing I know the owner of the gym (not her boyfriend) a previously innocuous character is shooting death rays of hatred at me. I ask around. It seems that someone was phoning in mega dirty calls to the girl :duckman: and after much discussion I was fingered as the probable culprit. (no I wasn't) Her friendliness was a trap to lure me in and expose me.

Two years pass. I go to another gym. I meet this Jr. A hockey player I'd known from there and ask about her. Her boy friend got her addicted to cocaine, she's 10k in debt she's stripping (and probably being a whore)to pay off her debts at No5 Orange St.

:frown:

:shrug:



Yeah. Never buy gifts for chicks you aren't in a relationship with, or are at the least in a position where you both know you could be in one, or really flirt with each other a lot.

I've seen this happen a handful of times throughout the years, never turns out well. I was kind of embarrassed just being there when he handed this chick that giftcard.
 

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