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Posts by Monty_Burns

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4/16/2011 7:21 pm

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BobHopesColostomyBag said: :lol:

There was this really hot blond babe at the front desk of the gym, 20. I was 43 or something at the time. I left her alone for obvious reasons. Then suddenly a few months after she arrived she knows my name and starts eagerly talking to me. She shows me her modeling portfolio...big high res photos, topless on a white leather sofa. She doesn't want anybody else to see them, just me. :erection: but :wtf:

Then she starts complaining to me that someone is making obscene phone calls to her at the front desk and this leads off into a long diatribe about how freaked out and frightened she is of Vancouver because she's a small town girl. So the next time I see her I bring her some flowers. Nice flowers. Not roses. I don't want to seem to get too hot and heavy. $25 bucks worth.

She goes from being intimately friendly to freaking out and gives them back to me; she has a boyfriend. Flowers go in the garbage no hard feelings. Later I see boyfriend and he's a mega creep; fu manchu moustache huge hockey haircut. Fine.

Then the next thing I know the owner of the gym (not her boyfriend) a previously innocuous character is shooting death rays of hatred at me. I ask around. It seems that someone was phoning in mega dirty calls to the girl :duckman: and after much discussion I was fingered as the probable culprit. (no I wasn't) Her friendliness was a trap to lure me in and expose me.

Two years pass. I go to another gym. I meet this Jr. A hockey player I'd known from there and ask about her. Her boy friend got her addicted to cocaine, she's 10k in debt she's stripping (and probably being a whore)to pay off her debts at No5 Orange St.

:frown:

:shrug:



Yeah. Never buy gifts for chicks you aren't in a relationship with, or are at the least in a position where you both know you could be in one, or really flirt with each other a lot.

I've seen this happen a handful of times throughout the years, never turns out well. I was kind of embarrassed just being there when he handed this chick that giftcard.
4/16/2011 7:17 pm

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. said:nice 20% bodyfat and skinny arms :lol:

That shit physique is enough to impress nerds on this gay forum but post it on any bodybuilding forum and you will be laughed off.

Do more cardio, less squats and run a cycle. Sorry, keep taking photos of your bloated legs to impress me. Let's see a shirtless pic, stud :lol:



You have to gain weight to build muscle. It doesn't work any other way, unless you're on roids. I am now in the process of cutting. I do a ton of cardio already.

P.S.,

I read a handful of bodybuilding forums. Super fat, no muscle people post their pictures all the time, and ask for advice. That's very common.

As a point of forcing myself to work hard, I _promise_ you I will post shirtless pics by the end of the year. I say this purely for motivation. Bookmark this here thread.

I _guarantee_ you I will post pics with six pack abs some point this year.
4/16/2011 7:07 pm

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. said:You are short.



I'm 5'11. That's over over the median height for the United States for white males.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_height
4/16/2011 7:04 pm

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But but, I don't look like :gayness:

http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/8031/legsu.gif
http://img706.imageshack.us/img706/1286/body1m.gif
http://img860.imageshack.us/img860/4474/body3.gif

I'm about 7 pounds lighter than those pictures now. Must get down to 165ish. Will post new pictures when I lose more weight.

I am determined to get visible abs sometime this year.

THEN I'll look like :gayness:
4/16/2011 6:53 pm

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Ever_victorious_ehen said:Does your friend look like this :trev:?



No. He's a gymrat like I am.
4/16/2011 6:50 pm

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There's a 9/10, tall, certified, goddamn-she-is-hot chick who goes to this gym. We both know her, he knows her better than I do. She has a boyfriend. He's MARRIED. My friend and the hot chick talk, on a friendly level, but she quite clearly has no interest in him.

So, she tells us her back has been hurting, so on and so forth. I'm talking to my friend after she walks away, and he goes "I'm gonna go buy her a gift certificate for a massage." These gift certs are like $60. I tell him "Man, you've got more balls than I do," and I'm thinking to myself the whole time how fucking absolutely weird it's gonna be for everyone if he buys her a $60 massage.

So she walks past us again and he calls her over, and he says to her "Do you mind if I buy you a massage?" She, in quite clearly not a happy tone, says "No, thanks, I couldn't accept that."

So like 10 minutes later he goes and buys the certificate. I was standing near her in the gym, and here he comes with the thing, and hands it to her. She said "No, thanks," again and then he says "You can't say no," and she took it from him and says "You didn't have to do that, but thanks." She was looking down the whole time and was clearly a little annoyed by it. Then my friend just walked away, and she didn't say anything else.

Awk-ward.
4/14/2011 5:46 pm

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I keep meaning to buy some. I've been reading about it everywhere lately.
4/14/2011 1:30 am

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Fawn Leibowitz said:Fuck you.



You minx.
4/14/2011 1:20 am

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This really brings back bad memories. I had a girlfriend who was killed in a tragic kiln explosion.
4/13/2011 3:09 am

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. said:I'm having a hard time trying to remember the last time I had to pay shipping from Amazon.

Why?

Because I've NEVER paid shipping from Amazon.

So what does the eighty-bucks buy me again?



I buy lots of things. Frequently, things I want, and, occasionally, need, that week. Yes, you can use "super saver" shipping. I do not have the patience for it.

I buy lots of things from Amazon, including office supplies. Some of those I literally "need" within a day or two, or I'm forced to go Office Max and pay upwards of $20 more for things like ink cartridges or toner.

Ergo, being that I buy literally several thousand dollars worth of items from Amazon every year, from household goods, to food, to office supplies, to the occasional non-necessary fun item, Prime works out quite well for me. I do not (and sometimes cannot) wait a week to get an item. Chiefly, however, I don't WANT to wait. Two day free shipping for, say, a hundred items in a year is quite a goddamn lot for $79.
4/13/2011 2:51 am

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. said:So you seriously can't see the angles? You can't see how you've been taken?

Dude, you are like Joe Bob Briggs' character in the movie casino. :lol:



I don't care. I order from Amazon on a weekly basis. It works out fine for me.
4/13/2011 2:46 am

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I've had Amazon Prime ever since it came out. Rarely a week goes by that I don't order something from Amazon. $3.99 overnight shipping, free two day shipping. Amazon is consistently the faster shipper I've had experience with.

I buy everything from electronics to household goods and even food products from them, instead of going to places like Wal Mart or Target.

I can order something at 7:00 PM, and get it sent to my office at 9:30 AM the next day for $4. That's pretty goddamn nice. I order most shit two days for free, though.
4/12/2011 6:47 pm

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. said:Are you a Scientologist? :marspeople:



Um, no. Everyone hates them. They're easy to avoid, thankfully.
4/12/2011 6:43 pm

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. said:Where do you see that exactly?



All over Clearwater / St. Pete.
4/12/2011 6:20 pm

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. said:Where do you guys live you see women hotter than that running on the street? sure she has a little bit of a gunt but that's nothing. At least she is running to burn off the little bit of fat she knows she has.



Are you serious? Do you live in the belly of Alabama or something? Any even medium sized metropolitan area has in-shape chicks running every day. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't see a woman with a better body than that jogging either outside or at the gym.
4/12/2011 6:10 pm

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Eww. She's dating Sean Penn.
4/12/2011 2:47 am

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:lol:

Here's a couple trying to get 2500 tokens to oil up her ugly tits.

http://www.cam4.com/phxcouple19
4/12/2011 2:16 am

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POOMP at 2000 said:This woman claims she will poomp on cam at 2000 tokens. We're halfway there.

http://www.cam4.com/latinhot66



Oh Jesus.

:lol:
4/12/2011 2:06 am

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I just got finished taking a shower. What in the mother of fuck is that creature? Is that a dude?
4/12/2011 1:40 am

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That one guy paid her $20 (1000 tokens) for THAT.

:lol:

Tokens can be purchased in the token widget under the cams or by clicking the Tokens tab in the main menu for
250 Tokens for $4.95
500 Tokens for $9.95
1,000 Tokens for $19.95
1,500 Tokens for $27.95
2,000 Tokens for $36.95
2,500 Tokens for $44.95
5,000 Tokens for $84.95
4/12/2011 1:38 am

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She has no ass.

http://i54.tinypic.com/1zvstx2.jpg
4/12/2011 1:36 am

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http://i54.tinypic.com/2vwfrb9.jpg
4/12/2011 1:30 am

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They look nice in a still photo. When she was bending over and they were hanging, it wasn't so good.

On Imageshack until they remove it.

http://img861.imageshack.us/img861/2324/54760087.jpg
4/12/2011 1:24 am

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Fuck, I accidentally hosted a pic of them on imageshack without thinking. They'll probably temp-ban me now.

:lol:

Gotta find a free nudie hosting site.
4/12/2011 1:20 am

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She finally showed her nipples for about two seconds. Stretch marks all over her boobs. And she's 18?
 

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