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Posts by BobHopesColostomyBag

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12/28/2013 9:10 am

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I could make it but I belong to the university library and I'd have to make a run there at least once a week to endure this hell called life. That's what I did before the internet and I suppose that's what I'd have to revert to without it.
12/28/2013 12:54 am

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http://www.litteratureaudio.com/


Downloading Stendahl's Rouge et Noir

also, Archive.org for the texts in PDF if you want to read along.

https://archive.org/details/lerougeetlenoir00sten

http://www.litteratureaudio.com/livre-audio-gratuit-mp3/stendhal-le-rouge-et-le-noir.html

:canada:
12/27/2013 11:19 pm

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mr the teapots said:
BobHopesColostomyBag said:I never heard of it (hoser) till they got famous. I've been in Canada all my life. The only Canadian accents that are really funny are Quebec and Newfie accents.



I think it was a Southern Ontario thing, prolly from the sepp "hoosier". I never heard hoser as a kid pre SCTV but I did hear hose-head, hose-bag, and hose-face.



OK now that is interesting etymology.

Johnathan Clark Smith subsequently showed that Nicholson and Dunn's earliest sources within Indiana were mistaken. A letter by James Curtis cited by Dunn and others as the earliest known use of the term was actually written in 1846, not 1826. Similarly, the use of the term in an 1859 newspaper item quoting an 1827 diary entry by Sandford and Son was more likely an editorial comment and not from the original diary. Smith's earliest sources led him to argue that the word originated as a term along the Ohio River for flatboatmen from Indiana and did not acquire its pejorative meanings until 1836, after Finley's poem.[6]
12/27/2013 11:19 pm

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. said:What is the deal with newfie accent?



Grate 'tundrin Jaysus bayh.
12/27/2013 11:17 pm

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Joe Kapp served a long apprenticeship in the CFL before he became the #1 quarterback of the Minnesota Vikings.
12/27/2013 10:10 pm

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mumbo_jumbo said:why would it's value in dollars matter?



Ask Goldman Sachs that question...
12/27/2013 10:06 pm

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$400 billion by this time next year.
12/27/2013 4:06 pm

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autoadmit said:I forgot to mention that on "office days" (when you don't have court or depositions, which rarely happens) you have to "Jam." "

Jamming is when you call an insurance adjuster on some bastard "no-pay" case as many times a day as you have to to jam their voicemail box full -- you do this by leaving your phone off the hook after leaving your message, and leaving the same message like 10 to 20 times in a row or until the mailbox is reported full.

You see, insurance adjusters get paid crap and usually have like 20,000 files to handle, so you can pretty much never get one on the phone. So to get a callback you have to do everything possible to fuck up their voicemail, like leaving the same message 100 times in a two hour period. My old boss was such a prick that he had a police whistle he would blast into the speakerphone after leaving his voicemail messages. Then when they called back all deaf and pissed he'd say the insurance company must have a shitty phone system and he'll help them sue for their hearing damage. He was a real character.

One other time he started swearing at this one poor adjuster and calling her a cunt and things like that because she wouldn't settle some fender bender case. A week later I was going thru the mail and the CEO of the insurance company had sent this nasty letter saying how his employee was abused and called a c_nt and a b_tch and all these other names. You know that trick where you substitute a __ for a letter in a curse word? So I show it to the boss and all he says is "this asshole needs to learn how to spell cunt- he left all the letters and shit out. What does he think this is, "Wheel of Fortune?"

Oh, there was this other hilarious shyster that used to be friends with my boss. I'll begin by saying that under NYC Sidewalk Law, an unlevel sidewalk slab must be at least 2 inches apart or it's considered "de minimis" and you can't get any $$$ for the trip n' fall. So this clown had a special fake ruler made where one inch was really one half inch, and he'd photograph the defect with the fake ruler next to it. He was smart and knew the city were too lazy/incompetent to actually send someone out there and take their own measurements, so he'd roll into a deposition or court settlement conference with photos showing a two-inch separation (which of course was in reality only one inch, if that) and settle the cases for whatever he could get.



:rofl: :lol:

You made me laugh
12/27/2013 3:50 pm

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http://solidsmack.com/cad-design-news/review-wacoms-go-anywhere-cintiq-companion-windows-8-tablet/
12/27/2013 3:48 pm

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Pierpont Morgan Library. It's more than a library; it's an art gallery devoted to early renaissance culture.
12/27/2013 1:03 pm

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. said:
. said:Why do all the idiot morons constantly think the world is about to collapse? Idiot morons have been thinking this for centuries and it hasn't happened.



Bad things never happen!
\
:winner:



When great nations go bankrupt bloody revolution and war are sure to follow.
12/27/2013 12:36 pm

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JesusChristCocksuckr said:
BobHopesColostomyBag said:Vancouver was the asshole end of the West Coast Track. The Rat pack stayed at the Bayshore, performed at the Cave, and partied down at the Penthouse run by the biggest mafiosi in Vancouver, the execrable Philliponis..

http://www.montrealgazette.com/cms/binary/7556405.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/gwbjHQc.jpg

http://www.straight.com/files/styles/popup/public/files/images/wide/DancersHelpingJoeWork.jpg

http://www.montrealgazette.com/cms/binary/7734224.jpg

http://www.theprovince.com/entertainment/cms/binary/7612512.jpg

Lord what scum. This is the vermin that always triumphs...



What does all of this have to do with your Golgothian experiences?



These shits were at the epicenter of a kingdom of evil. They turned what should have been a paradise into a sleazy shit hole full of evil retards.
12/27/2013 9:28 am

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JesusChristCocksuckr said:
BobHopesColostomyBag said:There's definitely a strong streak of vengeful hatred in me for the entire Las Vegas West Coast Track school of entertainers. Imagine if Kraft had produced packs of franks and sold them heavily to little boys as a treat. Then one day in early manhood one of those little boys grown up discovered those Kraft weiners had been made out of dog shit with worms it it all ground up... 1973 to 1983 was a long era of deep suffering for me. Christ hauling his cross up Golgotha wearing a crown of thorns being spit upon could hardly have suffered more. :mad: COCKSUCKERS.



Quit teasing us. Name the names. Give us some juicy stories.


Vancouver was the asshole end of the West Coast Track. The Rat pack stayed at the Bayshore, performed at the Cave, and partied down at the Penthouse run by the biggest mafiosi in Vancouver, the execrable Philliponis..

http://www.montrealgazette.com/cms/binary/7556405.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/gwbjHQc.jpg

http://www.straight.com/files/styles/popup/public/files/images/wide/DancersHelpingJoeWork.jpg

http://www.montrealgazette.com/cms/binary/7734224.jpg

http://www.theprovince.com/entertainment/cms/binary/7612512.jpg

Lord what scum. This is the vermin that always triumphs...
12/27/2013 9:24 am

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dotmatrix said:Two. I've never sent any. I'm just not that type of person, I guess.



I could see going to midnight mass if I could find a catholic church that wasn't packed full of flips and their numerous offspring.

as it is I don't really like Christmas much.

I went to Le Crocodile with my dentist for Christmas Eve lunch and there was a table full of fat old men in Santa caps that insisted on singing Christmas carols every ten minutes. One was more than enough. It ruined a $120 lunch of oysters on the half shell and Beef Wellington, frankly.

12/27/2013 9:15 am

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Nothing is finer than to be a decrepit old man. First of all there's that sickeningly sweet odor of death that get exuded from every pore of your wrinkled pallid skin, like the skin of a thanksgiving turkey for sale in a butchers window only with hair. It is the culmination of a lifetime devoted to sensual deliquecense.

Then the young whore is summoned from her pimp. Iron discipline enforced in reply to inexorable drug debts will compel her to attend your summons regardless of her natural repugnance. The juxtaposition of her silken nubility with you senile rotteness is worthy of the study of a great painter. She disrobes nonchalantly and lies passively on the her back on the luxurious bed of my glass and steel mansion overlooking Palm Springs from my own private irrigated mesa. Her mind wanders to fantasies of the drugs she'll soon be intoxicating herself with.
I too disrobe revealing my taut jaundiced paunch and my even more taut loaded colostomy bag swaying sensuously like a blood engorged penis attached to my pierced flank.

I lower myself over her gently at first then with all my weight as my iron grip seizes her white slender arms. Then her eyes open with suprise and horror as the first whiff of the foul exhalations from my cadaverous mouth, a mouth like a hen's wrinkled arsehole only ornamented with grinning twisted cracked teeth, yellowed with age.

Bearing down on her with all my weight I deftly trap my loaded colostomy bag between my own barrel shaped rib cage and her pure white belly. My penis stiffens somewhat to a semi flaccid state in anticipation of the ejaculation to come. But not an ejaculation of seed but rather an explosion of half digested food and raw bile pouring all over her pure white belly. Her delicious cries of distress at the unspeakably malodorous stench only further act to excite me to a tooth grinding frenzy causing me to shed a few drops of foul smelling clear brownish seminal fluids from my wrinkled pizzle as I bray like an angry mule with excitement.
http://sadie580.lbbhost.com/gifs3/bobhope1.jpg
12/27/2013 9:11 am

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. said:Who the fuck wants a small delicate tart when you've got three pounds of caramel apple deliciousness to mow down?



Kraft Caramel (invariably that is what is used in such concoctions in N. America) is made of HFCS, burnt, and a substance most closely related to Crisco lard.

If you eat that shit you will be a disgusting lardass regardless of whether you run a marathon a day like Terry Fox or not.
12/27/2013 8:55 am

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JesusChristCocksuckr said:
BobHopesColostomyBag said:As a rule, the worst blasphemers are always those who were raised under the strictest religious discipline as children, producing the predictable backlash later in life. Those who never had their childhoods blighted by heavy handed religiosity can scarcely understand their violent reaction to religion.

Jesus Christ Cocksucker should unburden himself and discuss this aspect of his early upbringing. I'm sure once he divests himself of this sad story he can begin the healing process and join the ranks of recovering Christians...



So were you raised by Bob Hope fans who were a little too zealous? Your moniker is the nastiest one on F2, and could hardly be in worse taste.




There's definitely a strong streak of vengeful hatred in me for the entire Las Vegas West Coast Track school of entertainers. Imagine if Kraft had produced packs of franks and sold them heavily to little boys as a treat. Then one day in early manhood one of those little boys grown up discovered those Kraft weiners had been made out of dog shit with worms it it all ground up... 1973 to 1983 was a long era of deep suffering for me. Christ hauling his cross up Golgotha wearing a crown of thorns being spit upon could hardly have suffered more. :mad: COCKSUCKERS.
12/27/2013 8:51 am

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. said:
. said:My favorite pie is that big giant apple caramel one from costco. It is the greatest of all pies. There is none better. This is an indisputable fact.


I do not believe that you have tried the Costco Pumpkin pie then.



Costco pies are crudely made with the emphasis on quantity not quality. Meinhard specializes in smaller more delicate tarts with intense flavors..
12/27/2013 8:50 am

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. said:
. said:I had some pumpkin pie as I do every year, but for no particular reason, I didn't really like it. I had a piece of cherry pie and that was spot on :thumbup: Maybe I will try a piece of pecan pie, too, it is that time of the year.



Sweet Potato pie is much better. Tastest like pumpkin, only sweeter.....



Pumpkin is lighter and fluffier and lends itself more to autumnal spices like cinnamon and nutmeg..
12/27/2013 8:46 am

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As a rule, the worst blasphemers are always those who were raised under the strictest religious discipline as children, producing the predictable backlash later in life. Those who never had their childhoods blighted by heavy handed religiosity can scarcely understand their violent reaction to religion.

Jesus Christ Cocksucker should unburden himself and discuss this aspect of his early upbringing. I'm sure once he divests himself of this sad story he can begin the healing process and join the ranks of recovering Christians...
12/27/2013 8:40 am

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. said:I didn't know that show was broadcast in Canada



US border stations. KVOS Bellingham a CBS network broadcaster.

http://www.pugetsoundradio.com/blahdocs/uploads/1961_kvos_lager_6439.jpg
12/27/2013 8:39 am

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If you're going to have key lime pie several things are important. The meringue must use lots of icing sugar and it must have a lot of fresh lime peel zest grated on it. The crust must be Graham Cracker crumble with butter binding it.
12/27/2013 8:37 am

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. said:
BobHopesColostomyBag said:I no longer eat pies but blueberry is the best hands down even for a pecan pie fiend like me. Key Lime pie, is awesome, pumpkin is awesome.



Who was the lady on Andy Griffin who left blueberry pies in the window to cool?



Taint Bea.
12/27/2013 8:34 am

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I no longer eat pies but blueberry is the best hands down even for a pecan pie fiend like me. Key Lime pie, is awesome, pumpkin is awesome.
12/27/2013 7:43 am

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Andora or Caymans. Take your cash out of the country, see a lawyer there, incorporate there, create a real estate investment firm, hire yourself as it's N. American manager and use your offshore money to buy the house. Rent the house from yourself (your company, that is) . :lol: I know a lot of drug dealers here that do that but they rent out their houses to others not themselves..
 

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